God. Parents?

My family is the precise reason I don't go around my family.
Take this past Saturday's wedding of my cousin:
'Hi Sissy(childhood nic)/Trish/Patricia/Victoria/Rene/Cuz, wow I haven't seen you since you were (insert gesture the size of approximately two feet) this big, remember me?'
"Well, gee. Let me think about it. I was probably wearing diapers and having my food fed to me still, but yes, yes I do remember you. We haven't spoken or kept in touch by any other means, but of course, you are still fresh in my memory. How could I forget you Lisa?"
'It's Lynn.'
"Hey, I was close enough."

Seriously though, how are you, as my flesh and blood, upset that I've forgotten you when neither of us have made any attempts at contact? More often than not, you knew me as I was a child. Well, guess what happened? I grew the fuck up! So it's time to re-introduce your damned self.
Is that so hard?
Shit!

And my favourite (cause the above, is pretty much what happened at the wedding) was my Godfather. And by favorite I mean just who the fcuk do you think you are? My Godfather or something? Oh yes, that's right...Well shut up anyways.
We're at the reception. I'm sitting with Andrew, my brother Patrick, Uncle and Aunt, and another Aunt's boyfriend. I was about to sit down when my Godmother calls me aside and asks whether she should be angry now, or later. (Case in point, I'd seen her throughout the ceremony without greeting, well fuck, I wasn't sure it was her. Better safe than sorry...Can't just walk up to any random white folk and say 'Hi Godma'...or whatever it is people say). So, I let her know straight up I wasn't sure it was her earlier, but said hi and did the 'how are you's' anyway. Here comes Goddaddy. Stepping in like he was my actual father. Like he raised me. On the verge of arguing as to why I haven't kept in touch.
Is it rude to say I forgot about you? Perhaps.
So, on my knees, I sit there for a good five minutes getting a lecture from a man I didn't even recognize.

I love the hypocrisy though. He says he hasn't seen me since I was a baby. Maybe true, I don't fcuking know. If that was the case... uhm, dude how am I supposed to know who you are? How am I supposed to make any type of effort at contacting someone I don't know? And if you haven't heard from me, why don't you pick up the damn phone?!
"You still live with your mom, right?"
Well, hmm... if you were an involved Godparent, you'd know I moved out four years ago. But, I suppose the onus is on me to present you with that information.
Right.
To top it off, I've been forced to take their number cause "they're not getting any younger." Nor am I, old folk. Nor. Am. I.
Luckily for him - my Godmother wasn't that bad, she had mercy - I have manners.

For the most part, I'd wished everyone would just "We're related somehow so give me a hug, cuz. Love you. Take care, bye." and leave it at that.

Of course they have to make it difficult... "Yes, I remember you." Said with a downwards glance and an awkward sideways shuffle to greet the next family member they 'remember.'

sleep.in.ideas.