Grudges

Extra strength 'premium clumping litter' acts as an ottoman for my feet as I sit and contemplate the grudge I hold against my brother. I'm halfway through a load of laundry and the intrusive thought of 'letting bygones be bygones' roams insistantly through my mind without reprieve. Without hesitation, I'm usually one to do so, let things go. Holding grudges can tend to represent an act of immaturity, an unwillingness to let go of the past and just grow.



A week ago, a friend of mine was nice enough to compliment me in a way which made me feel better as a whole person. The comment made me think of the ways in which I affect the people in my life. To some, I may incur feelings of anger; to others, perhaps feelings of joy.



For my brother, apparently he seeks approval from me. I've affected him in such a way that he now strives to gain my trust. For those close enough to me to know what he's done, you'll likely also know that I've practically denied having a brother for an extended period of time. However, I've come to a point where I no longer feel such animosity towards him, but at the same time, I'm not yet ready to forgive and forget.

There are certain things in life that can't be swept under the rug. Though as I said before, sometimes you've got to let go.

Not yet sure which path to follow.

sleep.in.ideas.